


Toph is Tough and Pirates are Not

by Abhainn_the_Resolute



Series: The Boy in the Iceberg Interviews [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Don't Like Don't Read, Don't be rude in the comments, Gen, How Do I Tag, I will not be accepting critisim at this time, Imperfect grammar, SECOND FANFIC EVER, Sorry Not Sorry, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Will accept recommendations on how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24970636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abhainn_the_Resolute/pseuds/Abhainn_the_Resolute
Summary: The transcript of an interview conducted by the playwright Pu-on Tin released by the Ember Island Players.  This is an AU where Toph joined the GAang and then they met the pirates.
Series: The Boy in the Iceberg Interviews [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807396
Kudos: 17





	Toph is Tough and Pirates are Not

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by a post by dead-fandom-society on this tumblr. The post says “headcanon that the reason toph’s actor in ember island players was a big buff dude was because when that playwright went around interviewing people who were involved no one wanted to admit that they were beaten up by a little girl.” If you are the person that posted this headcanon and want more specific credit please let me know. I would have asked but I don't have tumblr.

Pu-on Tin: Captain, I appreciate you meeting with me to discuss your run-in with the Avatar and his friends for your play. I’m sure that you have a lot of stealing on your agenda. HA!  
Pirate Captain: It’s high-risk trading if you please.  
PT: Of course, my mistake. So tell me about your encounter with them.  
PC: The Water Tribe girl stole a scroll from me! And we couldn’t even get it back due to that earthbender of theirs!  
PT: You’re referring to Toph, the Avatar’s earthbending master?  
PC: That’s the one. I mean how can a blind little girl be so good at earthbending?! She took out all of my men like it was nothing.  
PT: Blind little girl? The Avatar’s earthbending master is a blind little girl?  
PC: Did I say that? No that’s not right. Not right at all.  
PT: So this earthbender isn’t blind?  
PC: No that part was right. The little girl part was incorrect. I mean that would be ridiculous! No, the Avatar’s earthbending master is a man… A really buff man… The buffest man I’ve ever seen in my entire life! And you should see some of my crew (gestures to very large and buff men who are on the deck). Back me up here boys!  
All Pirates: Super buff! So many muscles! More muscles than all of us put together! Buff-est person to ever be buff!  
PT: Glad we cleared that up! After all it would be ridiculous for such a large group of strong individuals to be defeated by a tiny girl. Completely unbelievable.  
PC: … Right. Exactly. You’re a smart man to know the truth when you hear it.  
PT: So if he’s blind how does he get around?  
PC: I don’t know. He was yelling a lot so maybe using sound?  
PT: Of course! It all makes sense now. Thank you for your time gentlemen. Best of luck with your… trading.


End file.
